Author's Comments: It took a while, but I finally managed to write a fic with a song. It was indeed a very difficult process since I had no experience in this kind of writing. I tried about 4 times betore this one with other songs, but didn't work out right. I guess all depends on the mood you're in while writing. As of 02/20/00, my mood hasn't been normal considering many issues in my real life, so I guess this was a way to vent. I hope you enjoy it. This fic takes place during Turbo.
Author's Thanks: I'd like to thank Starhawk for editting it for me on short notice so I could submit it immediately. Thanks Starhawk! :)
Terence Johansen Johnson found himself very confused. His life seemed to be spinning out of control, with little knowledge of when the ride would end. School was difficult... especially with the fact he couldn't concentrate on his work or studies. The secret life of being the Red Turbo Ranger was getting to him as well. T.J. didn't know if he was worthy enough to be considered a "leader". And the worst part about all this, T.J. received a phone call about his mom being seriously ill.
"Hello", T.J. greeted.
"Is this T.J. Johnson," the low voice with a small accent inquired.
"Yeah, who is this?" he asked suspiciously.
"This is Dr. Joseph Fumero, Mrs. Johnson's physician," the voice replied.
"Oh, hey, Dr. Fumero, how's it going?" T.J. asked with a sense of relief and recognition of the man speaking to him.
"Fine... listen, I have some news for you. It's about your mother," Dr. Fumero informed with a small drop in his voice.
T.J.'s expression of happiness was quickly changed with the mention of his mother.
"What's wrong?" T.J. asked curiously.
"I'm not exactly sure at the moment. You're mother seems to be having problems with her heart. It's rather a shame especially at her fairly young age. She appears to eat healthy, and excercise regularly. I think she might have heart cancer," Dr. Fumero explained.
T.J. wasn't sure how to react when he received that news. It hit him like a truck coming at 70mph. His world seemed to be crumbling all around him, and he wasn't quite sure how to deal with it accordingly. T.J. got up from his bed from staring at the ceiling and leaned against the windowsill next to his work desk. He stared up at the clear navy blue night with the stars shining like no tomorrow. The moon shining down on the sidewalk. T.J. unlatched the lock on the window and slowly slid it open with a bit of struggle since the window seemed to not have been open for quite some time. He shut his eyes and took in the gentle cool spring breeze of the night, and tried to figure it all out. Somehow, the wind reminded him of one person in the world who could help him.
"Thank you, God... you're the best...," T.J. whispered softly into the wind, and quickly shut the window.
There laid Cassie Chan on her stomach on her bed, and her feet propped up behind her. One of her favorite things to do before bed was to read a book. She was deeply enthralled by "The Man in the Iron Mask". Her head slowly came closer to the page to where her nose would almost touch it, but was interrupted by the ringing of her telephone. Cassie picked up her head and saw her pink phone shaking a little as it rang. Quickly, she turned around on her back and sat up just in time to catch it before the person on the other line could hang up.
"Hello," Cassie greeted sweetly.
"Cassie... you still up? This is T.J...," T.J. replied.
"Oh hey, Teej, what's up? Yeah, I was reading "The Man in the Iron Mask" before hitting the sack," Cassie informed him.
"Listen... do you mind if I come over for a minute... I need someone... to talk to," T.J. asked with a bit of distress in his tone.
Cassie eyes lit up then quickly lowered with a bit melancholy. "Of course. I'll be waiting for you."
"Thanks... I'll be over in a few minutes...," T.J. said and quickly hung up the phone before Cassie could say anything else.
"O...," she replied, but all she heard was the dial tone.
I wonder what has T.J. so upset right now. He has been sort out of it lately. I hope it's nothing serious.
Cassie quickly picked up articles off the floor such as clothing, pencils, books, to tidy up her room. She took pride in being a good hostess no matter what, even to close friends who could understand her room slight messiness. Cassie scuffled up the pencils and pens on the floor and quickly scattered to the desk and opened it, but also noticing a picture above it. As she gazed at the picture of her and T.J. on a normal school day posing for the camera, a feeling of dread filled her heart for a moment. She dropped the pencils and pens and quickly shut the drawer and grabbed the photo, while sitting indian style next to the chair, and stared at it for a moment. Cassie had her on eye on T.J. mostly. He had his arm around her with a smile unlike any other she has ever seen from him. It was a little after they received the Turbo Powers. Now, it seems different. Somehow, she can feel some of his pain. T.J. considered Cassie his best friend, and when there was no one to run to, he could turn to her for help. Cassie just hoped she can provide the lift he needs... to push his spirits back up.
The doorbell rang, and Cassie stumbled out of the door, ran down the stairs to quickly answer it. Fortunately, her aunt couldn't hear well, so she wouldn't know that somebody was coming to the house late at night.
"Hey, Teej," Cassie greeted opening the door halfway.
"Hey, Cass...," he forcefully said with a melancholy expression covering his face.
"Come on in," Cassie offered, and the Red Ranger quickly entered the house without hesitation.
"Let's go to my room, we can talk in there," Cassie said as she stepped upon the first step and leaned against the wooden rail.
T.J. made no indications of whether he wanted to go up or not, rather he just followed with his same sad expression. He was in deep trouble, and he needed someone to turn to, but his emotions have too much control over his body language. All he knows at this moment is that he needs someone to turn to. And Cassie was the one who could make him feel warm and safe. He could trust her with anything. If anyone could raise his spirits and strength, it was Cassie. T.J stopped on the step where Cassie stood and waited for her to make the first move up the stairs, and followed her all the way to her room. He liked the way Cassie had her room set up. The bed near the window to feel the soft caressing wind, the dresser with a vibrant pink lamp lighting up the room, and a soft antique rocking chair off near the closet where she kept her clothes, shoes, and possessions neatly arranged and organized. He walked up to the dresser placed next to her bed and stared at himself through the mirror as Cassie looked at him through his reflection.
"So Teej, what's going on?" Cassie asked softly.
T.J. let out a slighty depressed and exasperated sigh.
"I wish I knew.... Things have just been so complicated lately."
He lowered his head, and closed his eyes, leaning against the top portion of the dresser with his shaking hands. Cassie noticed how awkward the shaking was and quickly ran to his side.
"Come on, T.J.," she ordered and tried to guide him to the bed to sit down and gather himself.
"What is it, T.J.? What is making you feel this way? Tell me, I want to help...," Cassie persisted. T.J.'s actions and reactions had her very worried now. When he called her on the phone, she could sense something was wrong, but didn't think it was anything serious. T.J.'s hands continued to shake within Cassie's soft hands, and she did everything she could to calm them, but to no avail. She gently wrapped her loving arms around him to comfort him as much as possible.
"You know that feeling when the world is crumbling all around you?" he finally spoke. Cassie stared in his teary eyes for a second and nodded with a confused look on her face. "That's how I feel."
"My life... it's gone though some drastic changes. Becoming a Ranger was one of them... I question whether I have what it takes to be a good leader...," T.J. explained.
"T.J., look at me..." Cassie demanded. "You've done a great job so far. When I met you on the bus, and then you left to save Kat and Tommy, I knew you had a lot of courage and strength in you. You definitely have what it takes to lead us. Don't ever doubt that."
"Is this why you're feeling this way, I can't imagine something like this, the insecurity and deep hurting you're feeling, explains your shaking hands. What's really bothering you?"
T.J. could no longer contain his real sorrow and blew up in a huge cry, and soft moans of inner pain.
"Cassie...," T.J. called out as his voice cracked in the middle of a cry. "My mother... she's dying..."
"I have to warn you, she might not make it. This condition she is in, there's a small chance that she could survive," Dr. Fumero informed.
"I understand...," T.J. eventually spoke after a short period of silence.
"Where is she now," T.J. asked.
"She's at home now. We have set up a surgery date to take place in three days. She wanted me to call you, and tell of you all this," the doctor explained.
Cassie's expression of confusion quickly transformed to shock and widened eyes. She watched as the Red Ranger covered his face and bawled in front of her. Cassie stared at the floor for a minute to take in what she just heard. After some thoughts ran through her head, she embraced her pain stricken friend.
"Cassie... I don't know what to do. She's...," he cracked again within a cry, "dying as we speak.... and I'm powerless to do anything about it."
T.J. fell on his knees to the floor and laid his head against Cassie's legs and continued to let out another burst of tears.
"T.J.... I'm so sorry... I don't know what to say to make you feel better....," Cassie sympathetically replied.
"When... the doctor called me yesterday and told me she had heart cancer...," T.J. managed to say from his crying, "I fell to pieces. I haven't told my uncle yet, it would only make me feel worse. She's in the hospital alone. My dad passed away eleven years ago, and now... I feel so...," T.J. stopped and sniffled a little.
Cassie was stuck for words. She knew in her heart and mind there was nothing she could say or do that would make this all better for T.J. She gently fondled T.J.'s shoulders and head like a loving mother would to a distressed child. Cassie loved T.J. almost like a brother, and it hurt her to see her friend in so much pain. This was indeed a difficult position for him to be in though. Bad enough he lost one parent as a child, and now there is a risk that he could lose the other.
After a short period of time of caring for T.J., he became exhausted from his troubled feelings and drifted asleep next to Cassie who remained sitting upright on the edge of her bed. She got the folded covers from the corner of her bed and covered T.J. After laying a gentle kiss on his forehead, she took a seat in her rocking chair and stared at him for a moment. She could see more of inner strength in T.J. than she ever saw before. She envied the fact that he could let out his emotions. Most guys she knew refused to do that, but not T.J., who held a special place in Cassie's heart. Someone true to themself. Cassie shut her eyes and gave a silent prayer for him, and soon drifted to sleep as well.
Two weeks later....
It had only been a day since he returned back to Angel Grove. He hadn't seen the others yet though. Wasn't in the mood to talk with them at the moment. He just needed time for himself. However, he did call Cassie yesterday when he got in. Didn't talk to her long though. Just informed her that he was back safely.
As he stared at the lake with its beautiful reflection of the clear summer day, he hadn't noticed Cassie approaching from behind.
"T.J." Cassie called out.
T.J. quickly rotated his body at the shock to see Cassie.
"Cassie... what are you doing here?" he asked curiously.
"I was walking through the park and I noticed you over here, so I thought I'd see how you are," she responded with a smile.
Without a response, T.J. just stared at her for a second and turned his attention back to the lake again.
"So, how did it go," Cassie asked with a bit of fear of making T.J. uneasy.
It took a moment, but he answered.
"Well, she's...," T.J. stopped in the middle of sentence.
Cassie felt her heart suddenly become so heavy with pain. She somehow felt he was going to what she was thinking.
"... she's recovering. The surgery was a complete success."
With those words, Cassie exhaled with relief.
"Cassie..., I fell to my knees with tears of happiness when she made it. God was definitely working his hands over her. I was so happy."
Cassie looked up at the sky, and let out a small smile.
"So, how do you feel now that it's over," she inquired.
"I'm dealing... it'll take time, but it will be all right soon. The doctor said he would call me when she would be leaving the hospital."
Cassie smiled at her friend, and placed her hand on her friend's shoulder. She knew he was right though, time would heal this experience for him, and she would be there every step of the way for him.
"Cass...," T.J. spoke.
"Yeah?" she responded.
He turned his body towards her and rubbed his left hand within his right one.
"I just want to thank you... thank you for being there for me when I really needed you. I really appreciate you helping me through this entire ordeal..." he articulated.
"I was in so much pain, and I felt there was no one to run to, but then I thought of you, and I knew you would be the one I could trust and turn to."
Cassie smiled and gave him a hug.
"Teej, you're my friend. You can turn to me for anything, just like I would if I were in trouble. I love you, and you know I would be there for you in a heartbeat, like a friend would," Cassie assured him.
"Come on," Cassie suggested. "I'm starved, and the others are at the Youth Center now. They've been asking about you lately, and would be happy to see you again."
For the first time in two weeks, T.J. smiled. As they both made their way to the Youth Center, he knew for sure that for anything he would face in his life, he had a friend to run to for help. A friend who cared for him.